It doesn’t help especially when stubbornness is a prominent feature of mine. Let me put it this way, at times, my stubbornness during our arguments is equivalent to splashing kerosine to a campfire. There is this part of my stubbornness that whenever I believe something to be true then I’ll defend it. We both bottle up issues like a pressure cooker over an extended period of time. The real reason most people choose to bottle things up is that they are wary about saying things that could hurt others. Speaking the truth is something I’ve been talking about frequently in recent years but it’s probably the hardest thing to follow myself. It is a constant challenge because it’s so easy to use words in a way that pays off in the short term and circumvents the problem.  Despite how difficult it is, I still believe it’s better to face things early on and to get to the bottom of the problem before it is too late for any reconciliation. As a health professional, I have to present myself in that manner too if I want to be a useful pharmacist as well. Not that I’m the kind of medical professional that tells people they have only months to live. But it’s still unpleasant to tell patients that they have scabies – it hurts their feelings and upsets them. Nonetheless, if you don’t deal with it now, then perhaps they will scratch themselves and make things a whole lot worse.

What I realise is that of the augments we had over the years, every time we still manage to come out of it as nothing has happened. Most people would think that we have comes to terms with each other’s temperament and we have developed the muscles to forgive. I contest that though because in an ideal world if you truly have forgiven someone, future arguments and conflicts can often be prevented. The fact we continue to have such conflicts on a regular basis could only point to the fact that we deceive ourselves into thinking we have forgiven each other, but in fact, we only have forgotten about the conflict. Forgive and forget are two very different things. There is something fundamentally wrong about “forgetting” a problem. This is because forgetting doesn’t involve reflection and reconciliation. Forgetting is acknowledging that there is a problem, knowing that there are things that I should be doing and that I must do it to resolve the conflict. However, I’m not willing to do anything about it. Hence, shuffling it under the mat seems to be the easiest way of dodging the responsibility of trying to figure a way out.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is driven by the proper reflection of the problem and laying out the rationale. There is usually a sense of genuine urge to reconcile by trying to understand why the person did this and what they’ve learned from it. However, forgiveness is difficult in part because evolution has endowed us with the motivation to avoid being exploited by others. We are constantly in a defense mode.

Forgiveness is a personal decision and is the one that requires both parties’ understanding and input before it can happen. Sometimes we have to come to terms that people have irreconcilable differences, and there’s nothing that can be done. This is partly because there is a tendency of people to simply not want to admit what they really want. And when people don’t communicate and tell each other the truth, conflict generally boils up. What I’ve learned from this friendship of mine is that telling each other the truth not only will increase the probability that we can maintain our relationship in a stable manner but it also enables us to forgive, reconcile and move forward. Although you may or may not be ready to forgive despite the truth been spoken, one day you’ll find yourself less resistant to the idea and starting to align yourself toward it. When that time comes, you’ll most certainly feel lighter, and generally relieved that the burden of hatred is no longer resting forcefully on your shoulders.

To a more forgiving world,

The post Just because you’ve forgotten doesn’t mean you’re forgiven appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

From my observations over the years as a pharmacist, I found many people are generally hesitant about sharing both good and bad news about their life. Hence, I was really surprised that she so willingly shared the good news about her life with me. It’s a sad truth that society primes us into keeping things to ourselves. I guess as our society is becoming more complex, people are wearier about “sharing” because sharing your life usually involves exposing ourselves to others and immediately opens ourselves up for comparison and judgement. We need to be very careful about comparison and judgement. It often leads to a toxic cycle of jealousy. The person we usually compare ourselves to are mostly people we don’t know much about besides their shiny outside.  The truth is that we don’t really get to see the reality of their life.

I’m sure many of you living in St Heliers and Glendowie areas can relate to this. I often see someone revving up their engine and speeding along Tamaki Drive in a Porsche. I think to myself, “Oh man, What a lucky guy.” However, the truth of the matter is that he’s thinking about drifting his expensive car off the road and burring himself into the ocean on the next tight corner. You just can’t tell. People have hard lives, relatively privileged people have hard lives too. I have a friend who is always troubled by jealous thoughts and constantly compares himself to the other person that he is fixated on. The funny thing is that the person he compares himself to is not me. And I said to him, if you compare yourself to me then you’ll be a much happier person. The problem with him is that the ideal he is mirroring himself to that made him jealous and resentful is in reality merely an illusion that’s created by his own mind.

I am fortunate enough through the nature of my job to have known a diverse group of people. Some of them are unimaginably wealthy, and most of them made their money through their intelligence and hard work. When you get to know them better, you realise their burden and responsibility is so huge that would probably crush me and any other normal person. They are constantly working, easily 80 hours a week and they have hundreds and thousands of people dependent on them, they don’t take holidays. They certainly have their money and status. However, most people would jump to the conclusion that they are privileged without realising there is usually a price to pay for what they have. They usually don’t see their family often enough, and as a result, miss out on seeing their children grown up. Hence their relationships are usually compromised. We often don’t see the other side long enough before we start judging. If we were to know what is at stake, we would probably be more careful of who we are jealous of.

As I’ve recently been reflecting on my two years of continuous writing, documenting my life, and looking back at my younger self, I have grown and learned so much (particularly about myself) that I would not have if I haven’t started on this journey. My experience interacting with my patients, being a husband to my wife, a father to my son, and a son to my parents has taught me that everyone is different from other people in their unique way and you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to them because you are not like them. You are experiencing life differently. Writing a completely different book with a different storyline and characters. They don’t have the same experience as you and they certainly don’t have the same temperament as well. They don’t have your problems and your abilities to solve them. The only person that has those is you and that’s why a much better game to play is to compare yourself to the yesterday you rather than someone else today.

Focusing on other people’s games often leads to disappointment and that’s what I’m observing regularly when I’m interacting with people. On the contrary, a game you can win is your own game you have been playing since day one. Because you can be a little better than you were yesterday if you chose to.

Two years ago, I embark on his journey of writing my way to become a better version of myself because I took stock of where I was, my strengths and weaknesses, and where I wanted to be… I started with a little humility and projected myself on a path of incremental improvement to be the person I wanted to become. Two years is relatively short in the scheme of things, but I’ve seen myself come a long way and I’m on the right trajectory to leading a virtuous life.

Are you playing your own game?

The post Playing your own game appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

I tend to overanalyse situations sometimes and I understand that it doesn’t have to be a bad trait, but it’s often is a double-edged sword. Take an incident that happened to me this week, I found out about something that could potentially jeopardise a project I have been working on for the past year and a half. The news struck me like a lightning bolt and it changed my mood for the rest of the day. Without realising it, I carried my thoughts into my sleep and woke up at 3 am several times wiping sweat off my forehead. I was catastrophising as my mind was revving to 8000rpm like a naturally aspirated sports engine – analysing all the possible outcomes – especially the bad ones.

I’m sure all of you can relate to this. All of us can jump to the conclusion of the worst-case scenario at times. Your friend didn’t reply to your text and your fear that they got offended. You make a mistake at work and worry that it can compromise the reputation you’ve worked hard on building. You argue with your spouse and you fear that they are going to leave you. As a pharmacist, I’ve come across many people with anxiety disorders. One thing that I’ve learned from people with anxiety, depression, or substance use abuse is that the reasons they get anxious are usually not mysterious at all. I mean, everybody has a reason to be anxious. We all have the ultimate reason to be anxious because we know that we’re vulnerable creatures and we have the intellect to realise that we’re all going to die one day. There is plenty of reasons for us to drown our consciousness in alcohol too and that’s why there is a strong link between anxiety and alcohol or substance abuse. People find relief when drinking alcohol is because it is a very powerful anxiolytic agent. I do enjoy a glass of wine now and then, and what I noticed from my own experience this week was that having a glass of red did take the edge off – temporarily.

Now I fully understand why many people with high levels of anxiety are prone to drinking alcohol. It is because when we are catastrophising and caught in the grip of fearful thoughts, we want to immediately break free, and alcohol usually does the trick quite nicely.  But a simple glass of wine that we think will be a simple fix turns out to be a vicious cycle that we naively think is okay to enter. So how do we stop anxiety or catastrophic thinking without resorting to alcohol? What I found to be useful this week was recognising what’s happening and laying out what I was anxious about in detail. What is it that I’m afraid of? What might happen? Then I deconstruct it into small manageable problems and expose myself to situations that I was afraid of. What I noticed from this exercise is that I don’t necessarily get less afraid but instead I get braver. The two are completely different things. Because if you get less afraid, it’s like realising that the world is not as bad as you’ve once thought. On the contrary, becoming braver means that you acknowledge that the world is just as bad as you thought or even worse. However, it turns out that there is something in you that is strong enough to take on a voluntary challenge and as a consequence, grow and thrive along the way.

Obviously, it is not easy to move forward into the unknown. It takes a lot of convincing and courage. But knowing that you have the courage can be the elixir we’re all after that could help you sleep a little better at night rather than those damn sleeping pills. It certainly did comfort me when I woke up at 3 am several times this week.

The other thing I realise is that sometimes the real catastrophe we fear isn’t necessarily being afraid of what will happen or the fact that we are overwhelmed and not capable to deal with it. But rather fearing that the outcome might not be the one that we set out to achieve. That was bothering me this week as I was too focused on not achieving the ideal outcome that I fixated heavily on. Chances are that many people who don’t achieve their ideal outcome might give up after weighing up the costs and benefits of continuing to pursue the same path. The problem with this is that many of us do not realise that there is a cost and benefit of not doing something as well, and sometimes the cost of not doing something is far worse than the cost of continuing pursuing the same path even if the path seems risky.

The ultimate lesson that I’ve learned from my personal experience so to speak, to help break anxious and catastrophic thoughts is to realise that there are risks no matter what you do even if you choose to do nothing. This can help us break loose from our shackle of anxiety and start taking some risks that we don’t normally do but know we should be taking.

To find your way to diminishing your anxious and catastrophic thoughts,

The post How I deal with fear, anxiety, and catastrophising thinking appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

As a pharmacist, I’ve come across many people with anxiety disorders. One thing that I’ve learned from people with anxiety, depression, or substance use abuse is that the reasons they get anxious are usually not mysterious at all. I mean, everybody has a reason to be anxious. We all have the ultimate reason to be anxious because we know that we’re vulnerable creatures and we have the intellect to realise that we’re all going to die one day. There is plenty of reasons for us to drown our consciousness in alcohol too and that’s why there is a strong link between anxiety and alcohol or substance abuse. People find relief when drinking alcohol is because it is a very powerful anxiolytic agent. I do enjoy a glass of wine now and then, and what I noticed from my own experience this week was that having a glass of red did take the edge off – temporarily.
Now I fully understand why many people with high levels of anxiety are prone to drinking alcohol. It is because when we are catastrophising and caught in the grip of fearful thoughts, we want to immediately break free, and alcohol usually does the trick quite nicely.  But a simple glass of wine that we think will be a simple fix turns out to be a vicious cycle that we naively think is okay to enter.

So how do we stop anxiety or catastrophic thinking without resorting to alcohol? What I found to be useful this week was recognising what’s happening and laying out what I was anxious about in detail. What is it that I’m afraid of? What might happen? Then I deconstruct it into small manageable problems and expose myself to situations that I was afraid of. What I noticed from this exercise is that I don’t necessarily get less afraid but instead I get braver. The two are completely different things. Because if you get less afraid, it’s like realising that the world is not as bad as you’ve once thought. On the contrary, becoming braver means that you acknowledge that the world is just as bad as you thought or even worse. However, it turns out that there is something in you that is strong enough to take on a voluntary challenge and as a consequence, grow and thrive along the way.
Obviously, it is not easy to move forward into the unknown. It takes a lot of convincing and courage. But knowing that you have the courage can be the elixir we’re all after that could help you sleep a little better at night rather than those damn sleeping pills. It certainly did comfort me when I woke up at 3 am several times this week.
The other thing I realise is that sometimes the real catastrophe we fear isn’t necessarily being afraid of what will happen or the fact that we are overwhelmed and not capable to deal with it. But rather fearing that the outcome might not be the one that we set out to achieve. That was bothering me this week as I was too focused on not achieving the ideal outcome that I fixated heavily on. Chances are that many people who don’t achieve their ideal outcome might give up after weighing up the costs and benefits of continuing to pursue the same path. The problem with this is that many of us do not realise that there is a cost and benefit of not doing something as well, and sometimes the cost of not doing something is far worse than the cost of continuing pursuing the same path even if the path seems risky.
The ultimate lesson that I’ve learned from my personal experience so to speak, to help break anxious and catastrophic thoughts is to realise that there are risks no matter what you do even if you choose to do nothing. This can help us break loose from our shackle of anxiety and start taking some risks that we don’t normally do but know we should be taking.

To find your way to diminishing your anxious and catastrophic thoughts,

The post How I deal with fear, anxiety, and catastrophising thinking appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

I was talking to a friend over the weekend and it seems that resentment and regrets are quite common at this time of the year for pharmacists. She said to me how much she hates being constantly accused of ripping patients off simply because they charge the $5 government tax. Yes, I understand how she feels, I get a fair share of being called a “con” every now and then. I can tell you that comments like this often ruin the rest of my day at work. It’s a terrible feeling to have such an accusation thrown at you when merely 15 minutes ago, I was treating them just like my own family – making sure that whatever was prescribed for them was of the right dose that doesn’t kill them.  People just don’t know…
She said studying pharmacy and being a pharmacist is the worst decision she ever made and she regrets every minute of it. The worst part was that she felt like she was nothing but a glorified drug dealer.

I understand where she is coming from. Pharmacists like to joke about being “legal drug dealers”. But despite the joke, I am quite certain that there is a part of every pharmacist that feels like nothing more than a glamorised drug dispenser.

Even after practicing as a pharmacist for more than 13 years, I still wake up every day naively think that my day would be filled with verifying prescriptions, assessing the appropriateness of the medicines prescribed, talking to doctors on optimising patient’s health outcomes. In reality, I’m in constant battle with patients when it comes to calling the doctors. Is it important or urgent enough to have to make them wait? Especially for those disgruntled patients just wanting to get their prescription and leave. You know what, instead of picking my battles, I always end up calling the doctor despite how annoyed the patient was towards me. I just simply can’t lower my standards because they’re frustrated and wondering why they need to waste 10 minutes for a pharmacist. I can tell you for sure that I have made many patients angry during my time as a pharmacist.

If you think the misery just ends from the patient’s front, that’s wishful thinking. Because even if I call, the majority of the time I leave a message with the nurse instead. Hence, my mission of optimising a patient’s health is usually dashed away when I can’t even get to talk to the prescriber. I am very fortunate that I get to work alongside very respectful doctors. However, sometimes you get odd ones from other practices who disregard my concern without a second thought – comments like “that’s fine” or “it’s always how we do things here” can often strike and pierce your heart like an arrow.

My friend asked me whether I feel the same regret about being a pharmacist. I have to be perfectly honest; I have good days and bad days. However, overall, I don’t regret it at all. Let me put it this way, I don’t so much regret choosing to become a pharmacist as a career, despite all the ugliness and resentfulness within the industry. What I regret is not doing enough to change people’s perspectives towards us. Not advocating enough that our knowledge and time are not penniless, at least I see it as more than the $5 government tax that you pay.

Every profession has a defining moment that can either make or break someone. If you can ride it out while remaining naïve and optimistic, good for you. But you certainly not a hero. On the other hand, if you can’t tolerate it and quit, you’re not a loser either. There are certain things in life that we desperately want to change and cannot. Sometimes, we actually have zero control. But life isn’t really about having ultimate control of every aspect of it. It’s also not about condemning ourselves for making an irrevocable decision, leading us to a terrible consequence either. And without a doubt, it surely isn’t about living a life without any regrets. Here is the thing – if we have goals and dreams and we always strive to do our best, we should feel pain and resentment when things go wrong. But the point is to not hate ourselves for having those feelings. We have to understand that some of our regrets are not as ugly as we think they are.

The lesson I learned from my bad dream this week is this:

A dream is only a dream. Reality is more malleable than you think. Of course, you can learn to sculpt out the flaws and imperfections to minimise your regrets. But that’s not the point. The point is to have the capacity to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regrets don’t always only remind us of how terribly we did or the things we didn’t do. They also remind us that we can do better and most importantly, there is still time to accomplish that.

To a future of good dreams and an even better reality,

The post Living in a bad dream appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

I was talking to a friend over the weekend and it seems that resentment and regrets are quite common at this time of the year for pharmacists. She said to me how much she hates being constantly accused of ripping patients off simply because they charge the $5 government tax. Yes, I understand how she feels, I get a fair share of being called a “con” every now and then. I can tell you that comments like this often ruin the rest of my day at work. It’s a terrible feeling to have such an accusation thrown at you when merely 15 minutes ago, I was treating them just like my own family – making sure that whatever was prescribed for them was of the right dose that doesn’t kill them.  People just don’t know…
She said studying pharmacy and being a pharmacist is the worst decision she ever made and she regrets every minute of it. The worst part was that she felt like she was nothing but a glorified drug dealer.

I understand where she is coming from. Pharmacists like to joke about being “legal drug dealers”. But despite the joke, I am quite certain that there is a part of every pharmacist that feels like nothing more than a glamorised drug dispenser.

Even after practicing as a pharmacist for more than 13 years, I still wake up every day naively think that my day would be filled with verifying prescriptions, assessing the appropriateness of the medicines prescribed, talking to doctors on optimising patient’s health outcomes. In reality, I’m in constant battle with patients when it comes to calling the doctors. Is it important or urgent enough to have to make them wait? Especially for those disgruntled patients just wanting to get their prescription and leave. You know what, instead of picking my battles, I always end up calling the doctor despite how annoyed the patient was towards me. I just simply can’t lower my standards because they’re frustrated and wondering why they need to waste 10 minutes for a pharmacist. I can tell you for sure that I have made many patients angry during my time as a pharmacist.

If you think the misery just ends from the patient’s front, that’s wishful thinking. Because even if I call, the majority of the time I leave a message with the nurse instead. Hence, my mission of optimising a patient’s health is usually dashed away when I can’t even get to talk to the prescriber. I am very fortunate that I get to work alongside very respectful doctors. However, sometimes you get odd ones from other practices who disregard my concern without a second thought – comments like “that’s fine” or “it’s always how we do things here” can often strike and pierce your heart like an arrow.

My friend asked me whether I feel the same regret about being a pharmacist. I have to be perfectly honest; I have good days and bad days. However, overall, I don’t regret it at all. Let me put it this way, I don’t so much regret choosing to become a pharmacist as a career, despite all the ugliness and resentfulness within the industry. What I regret is not doing enough to change people’s perspectives towards us. Not advocating enough that our knowledge and time are not penniless, at least I see it as more than the $5 government tax that you pay.

Every profession has a defining moment that can either make or break someone. If you can ride it out while remaining naïve and optimistic, good for you. But you certainly not a hero. On the other hand, if you can’t tolerate it and quit, you’re not a loser either. There are certain things in life that we desperately want to change and cannot. Sometimes, we actually have zero control. But life isn’t really about having ultimate control of every aspect of it. It’s also not about condemning ourselves for making an irrevocable decision, leading us to a terrible consequence either. And without a doubt, it surely isn’t about living a life without any regrets. Here is the thing – if we have goals and dreams and we always strive to do our best, we should feel pain and resentment when things go wrong. But the point is to not hate ourselves for having those feelings. We have to understand that some of our regrets are not as ugly as we think they are.

The lesson I learned from my bad dream this week is this:

A dream is only a dream. Reality is more malleable than you think. Of course, you can learn to sculpt out the flaws and imperfections to minimise your regrets. But that’s not the point. The point is to have the capacity to forgive ourselves for creating them. Regrets don’t always only remind us of how terribly we did or the things we didn’t do. They also remind us that we can do better and most importantly, there is still time to accomplish that.

To a future of good dreams and an even better reality,

The post Living in a bad dream appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

The general feeling was that many people are not entirely happy with the government’s decision on Saturday night. One of the reasons was that some people were training hard and looking forward to the once-a-year “Round the Bays” event. The other reason was the strategy of going into a lockdown every time a new case of community transmission is found or suspected. The thoughts were that it’s probably not the best strategy when balancing stomping on the virus and stomping on our economy. Especially, the fact that the whole population and the economy of Auckland had to be punished when a few could not follow simple rules.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to share my thoughts of how the situation should have been handled or how we should move forward as a team of 5 million. Quite frankly, I feel that the government has handled the situation to the best of its ability given the rapidly changing nature of the virus. However, as always, there are lessons the government could learn systematically to not jeopardise the effort of locking down a city of 1.5 million.

What I wanted to discuss instead today was why many people are feeling resentful and anxious and it all points to the result of what lockdown can do to us mentally.

There is no doubt that 2021 will be another interesting year given what we are seeing so far. There’ll definitely be challenging times ahead of us for both our mental and emotional well-being. The stress and uncertainty of the pandemic, the financial repercussions from it, and the anxiety of whether our lives could ever go back to some form of normality have been difficult. Now, faced with the potential of multiple short bursts of lockdowns, profound changes in our daily routines have arisen. Many of us, including yourself, could be feeling the strain already. Personally, the last lockdown had already placed significant stress and disruption to my daily work and personal routine. Things that should be done are not getting done. It’s really hard to find your equilibrium when everything feels like it’s going through a phase of a trough.

Everyone is being affected in some way or another. Every life situation during this time is bringing unprecedented challenges. Workers, if they are lucky, can work remotely. However, many can not and are unemployed until the lockdown finishes. Businesses are forced to operate with maximum restrictions. Parents do their best to home-school their kids while working from home themselves. Single people struggle to maintain a connection with their friends and family.

All of us are collectively facing problems of our own. It is extremely important to be aware of this and it is of paramount importance to not be judgemental. Everyone is fighting a battle that you are not aware of. In times like this, we must not get personal and realise that the is a valid reason why people are behaving this way. A little bit of understanding goes a long way during a pandemic of a lifetime.

People with depression and bipolar disorder are particularly vulnerable to the effects of the lockdown because of the disruption in routines and their usual patterns of daily life. Routines, regularity, and social interaction are important for people with depression to be able to manage their mood symptoms, and disruption in these can precipitate a relapse. During these challenging times, we must protect our mental health and the mental wellbeing of people who suffer from clinical depression. There are lots of things you can do to boost your mental wellbeing:

1)      Maintain your routine as much as possible

Establishing a routine allows you to get through the day with less stress and anxiety.

2)      Find moments for yourself.

Try to regularly set aside time for yourself in the absence of social media, news, or other technology. Trust me, this will help you to relax and have a positive impact on your thoughts.

3)      Stay connected with your loved ones

We must keep connections and close ties to our loved ones and friends. By staying connected, it’ll make us feel safer and less stressed and anxious.

4)      Share the love

At times of stress, it’s easy to neglect our relationships, especially to the people we see every day. It is important to spend and treasure the time with the people who love you and who will be with you no matter what the future holds.

5)      Find ways to forgive

Always look for an opportunity to give people the benefit of the doubt and see the good in people. Being quick to forgive not only is good for your relationships but also for your mental well-being as you embrace their good character and let go of their shortcomings.

6)      Improve someone’s life

Finding ways to be of service to others not only lightens their burden but also, most importantly, it will liberate yourself from a preoccupation with your own struggles (something I still have to remind myself regularly).

7)      Practice gratitude

It is important to be able to recognise the things that are right in front of us when we are in the middle of a storm. Dwell less on what’s wrong or missing and be thankful for what you already have is the most reliable way to maintain sanity and be mentally healthy.

We don’t know exactly how many more lockdowns we’ll have in the foreseeable future. It would be wise to start giving your emotional well-being the attention it needs and prioritise it. It’s alright to give yourself a break as you navigate through stressful times and adjust to a new situation or normality. There is no need to be harsh on yourself, you are doing the best you can, and that’s all matters.

To a happier and more optimistic you.

The post Looking after your mental wellbeing during the COIVD-19 Lockdown appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

The reason why I find these two groups of people so fascinating is that their reactions are usually as genuine and real as you can possibly get. There is absolutely no hiding behind the curtains, no beating around the bush. What you see is what you get.  There is a sense of innocence, naiveness, simplicity, and curiosity that comes with a child while a sense of poise, subtleness, and wisdom for older folk. Such a portrait of realism is fading in our society, particularly in my generation and the generations to come.  What I admire the most is that many of the older folk that I have come across in the past still have the capacity to never stop asking questions, challenge the status quo, and most importantly, still have a life despite the number of health hurdles they have had to endure. While on the other hand, the untamed nature of a child in a capitalistic world gives us hope that we are capable of simplicity and curiosity. I truly believe simplicity and curiosity are the antidotes to the chaos we are seeing in the world right now. From an emotional perspective, it’s not easy to be optimistic when life can often feel hard, confusing, and unfair. In fact, problems almost always pile up and things never go exactly according to plan. So how do we combat our fear for the unknown and adopt a simplistic and curious approach to life? The truth is that we are often the person sprinkling salt over our fresh wounds.

I came across a patient this week where we had a lengthy conversation about her insomnia. She had been having trouble sleeping for almost a month. Upon asking, I found out her daughter’s recent health problems were keeping her up at night. She said her mind just couldn’t rest and stop thinking about how to help her daughter. She was constantly trying to find an answer to her problems because she believed she was responsible for her daughter’s suffering. Life can be unapologetic sometimes, from the moment we’re born, we enter this world where the weight of responsibility and expectation gets placed on our shoulders. Especially now I’m a parent myself, I can relate to her feelings completely. There is nothing in this world that can prepare you to deal with sick loved ones.

I honestly think it is tremendously hard work to juggle not just the responsibility, but the pressure that comes with finding a perfect solution to a problem. Maybe what we don’t realise is that we are trying to find answers to an unsolvable problem or sometimes we simply don’t have an answer that works. Instead, all you can come up with is a solution that has the highest probability of success. Now it may turn out the way you wanted it to – but there is no certainty about that, what is certain is that it is your best bet in moving forward. It’s often the case that you get to pick poison A or poison B but you don’t get to pick the elixir of life. However, I don’t believe that’s a reason to be particularly pessimistic because you simply cannot predict what life is going to throw at you.

Whatever problems arise in your life, do not let finding a solution restrict you from being curious and making discoveries about who you are. Tackling life with the wisdom of older folk but still maintaining the simple and curious mind of a child is the antidote to the world we’re living in. Adopting this attitude will avoid getting paralysed by everything that’s going on, make us appreciate what we have, open ourselves up to accept new things, and allow us to respond to challenges with greater flexibility. After all, when I look at my son and his natural instinct of handling whatever challenges throw at him (whether is crawling, taking in his surroundings, or learning to acknowledge his feelings), it has given me tremendous insight into how I should live my life.

To a wise, simple, and curious life,

The post Lessons from the young and the old appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

Many serious health problems seem to develop unexpectedly, upsetting your life out of the blue. You may feel overwhelmed by waves of difficult emotions. There is bound to be a certain element of fear, profound sadness, anguish, and grief. Or you’ll just enter a phase frozen by the shock and simply do not know how to react and cope. The emotional turmoil can prevent you from functioning or thinking straight and what’s worse is that it can lead to depression and anxiety problems further down the track if you don’t handle it properly in the first instance. What I’ve learned as a pharmacist after dealing with multiple patients with newly diagnosed medical conditions is not to let it get the best of you. It is very easy to blur the line between your illness and your character. Over the years, I’ve seen many people with different values and outlooks on life, all handle their diagnosis differently – some for the better and some for the worse.

The first thing to do to preserve your character is to allow yourself a period to absorb the news and to not ignore your feelings. It is always the best approach to talk to someone you trust and not to bottle up your feelings and emotions which often is the easiest thing to do. By acknowledging your feelings and emotions, you are allowing yourself to grieve through proper means; hence preventing yourself from internalising fear and anger which is a dangerous fuel for bitterness and resentment.

The reason some people may never seem to look past the grieving phase could very well because of the fact that they are frustrated the diagnosis may hugely affect their normal life and plans for the future. You’re now no longer able to travel because of the treatment plan (not that we can travel overseas now anyway due to COIVD) or you’re no longer able to live the same lifestyle as before. Either way, we need to come to terms that life is unpredictable and even the best-laid plans may go astray and that is part of being alive. Even though you know where you’re heading, you might have a flat tire along the way and that might affect the expected time of arrival to your destination. The point is to realise that life can be punctuated by unexpected catastrophe and the responsibility lies with us on how to handle it and to make it no worse than it has to be. The best time for such realisation is after acknowledging your feelings and emotions and not before.

A lot of people don’t realise that allowing a diagnosis to bring you down is a poor strategy to position yourself on the road to recovery. Also, what’s worse is to allow your behaviour to take its toll on the people around you. You have a moral obligation to not destroy your family or loved ones by letting them see your illness tear you down in the first place. You have to be strong, not just for you, but also for them. Now I’m not saying you cannot show your vulnerability, in fact, you should embrace it but there is a delicate balance in doing so and not letting your vulnerability break you or your loved ones.

A difficult situation that I have been in is with my mum. She had a problem with her lower back and it bothered her for a few years before it reached a stage where she needed to have surgery to fix it. She experienced excruciating pain daily and the hardest thing was watching someone you love so dearly suffer from so much pain. The level of pain is malevolent beyond belief. However, she always conducted herself admirably, not showing us the level of pain that she was in because she didn’t want us to get worried. My mother has taught me not to let your illness be an excuse to be a victim. Once you start feeling sorry for yourself, you automatically won’t be able to distinguish the difference between your illness and your vulnerability. Once you start to blur that line, you’ll be in a murky place, where it’s more difficult for you to bounce back, leading to a path of resentment.

So how can you remain positive and emotionally intact when you are faced with a significant diagnosis or health issue? Well, as mentioned in my previous paragraphs, acknowledging your emotions and the ability to comes to terms with reality is important. However, it is equally, if not more important to realise that the alternative is worse if you insist on not accepting the reality. Many times, we deceive ourselves into thinking that escaping reality and constant denial is the best strategy. I mean, it makes perfect sense to find a corner of the room, hide away from the problem and not deal with it. But doing so will not make your illness go away, it will probably make it worse. Being diagnosed with a significant illness is one thing but doing something about it, staying positive, and making your life less miserable is another. The last thing you want to be doing is to let your illness not only conquer you physiologically but also psychologically as well.

If you know someone is going through a difficult time accepting their illness, you owe it to yourself to do something to help them. Sometimes all you need to do is to be there to support them and let them know that they are not a victim. Steer them back on the path of recovery by letting them know that they are still strong and their life is still as bright as before the diagnosis.

To overcoming adversity,

The post How to deal with a significant medical diagnosis? appeared first on Eastmed Pharmacy.

I regularly get the chance to liaise with the palliative care team at Mercy Hospice and it was very interesting talking to them because they all found their job extremely meaningful. I often think that dealing with death in my line of work is tough, but I can’t imagine being a palliative care nurse where you are soaked with the notion of death and suffering every minute of your job. One would generally assume that the constant notion of death, witnessing the pain and suffering it may bring can make you not just question the meaning of life but potentially undermine it. But that could only be further from the truth. The truth is that sometimes it takes other’s death and suffering to enrich our own lives.

I accidentally stumbled across a blog earlier this week which happens to be written by a patient that was under my care. After reading her blog post and getting to know her a little more via her writing, she has inspired me to focus this week’s “dose of wisdom” on further developing my thoughts on the meaning of life which I have previously written about a few weeks back.

My patient was a young lady in her early 30’s who had been battling cancer for a few years now. There were good times and bad ones during her journey and recently her condition has deteriorated rapidly where she has been referred to hospice care for the last chapter of her life. I have had the privilege to manage her medications during the last moments of her life. Seeing the need for a consistent dose increase of her palliative medications gave me a good indication that her condition was deteriorating rapidly. It was often rather sad to turn up to work some days to find out that further dose adjustment is needed for her as it usually suggests the end is near. I believe she was very well aware that her days were numbered based on her deteriorating condition. Her recent blog post titled “The End” gave me the thought that she too, herself believed that it was the last piece of writing she would be leaving behind before she embarked on the closing chapter of her life.

It was a heart-wrenching read and was practically impossible for me to hold back my tears. People often said health care professionals should not get too attached to their patients. Yes – in an ideal world that is true but in reality, if you are an empathetic person like myself, I can tell you that it is bloody hard not to do so.

As a test of our faith, there is almost nothing more brutal and direct than a serious illness inflicted upon an innocent and inspirational person. Being diagnosed with cancer is unfortunate. But being diagnosed at a young age is unfair and as tragic as it could possibly be. So, what do we do in a situation like that because everyone is going to have a difficult situation or life crisis like that in some sense? Sooner or later, you’ll be faced with illness or illness in the people that you love. So how exactly should we tackle such brutality in life?

I gave some serious thought to this and after reading her blog, I started to see life a little differently. I’ve come to realise that one of the keys to a meaningful life is to adopt the mindset of the terminally ill.  When you are terminally ill, your timeline shrinks and it makes you re-evaluate and prioritise life so that you could live life the full even with the remainder of your days.  Rather than thinking and planning for next month, you probably could not even plan for weeks in advance. All of a sudden, you start to filter out all the things that don’t matter to you but rather focus on the things that matter the most. This is exactly what we need to do when facing crisis and problems in life – is to put life back into perspective.

This mindset has taught me not to look into the future too far ahead. Yes, it is important to have plans and a vision of where you want to go, but it should never come at the cost of ignoring your present. Your present situation, the relationships you have in front of you are the things that are very real and that you are in control of. It’s often interesting to realise that many people, including myself at times, may get too hung up with the future and forget the present. When we are overwhelmed with problems or a crisis that we need to solve tomorrow, it is difficult to appreciate what we already have. Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves that our days are numbered whether we are terminally ill or not. Sooner or later, we’ll be gone and what’s worse is that people simply do not know when their time is up. Because of the notion of uncertainty with life, we must focus our attention on the present, reconnect with people that we love, and concentrate on the things that make us happy. You become more appreciative of the things that you once never thought to be important. You’ll start to realise that your present should be a catalyst for your future and not a burden that drags you behind.

The way to combat the fear of death and crisis is to live your life to the full, take advantage of what’s in front of you, utilise your talent and potential, say yes to things that are worthwhile despite a certain element of risk, and most importantly, to tell the truth.

To living life to the fullness,

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